“When I was in a very dark place, I would have given all my money and caps to get my health back.”
This article is an exclusive by Progressive Rugby
Scotland flyer Sean Lamont often said his younger sibling Rory was missing the self-preservation gene.
If he’d been blessed with that gene, Rory, a hugely talented player in his own right, would have had a decent chance of getting somewhere near Sean’s remarkable achievement of 105 caps.
But that’s just not how Rory was wired to play the game, whether pulling on a Glasgow Warriors, Sale Sharks, RC Toulon or Scotland shirt - an honour he managed on 29 occasions.
His commitment to the cause resulted in a staggering 20 visits to the surgeon and a dozen knock outs, as well as dozens of further concussions where he was left dazed but conscious.
Following a particularly brutal head knock against England in 2008, one that required metal plates being inserted in his face, Rory lay in his hospital bed mulling over the idea of calling it quits.
“The only reason I didn’t was because I was 27 and basically had no idea what else I would do,” Rory told Progressive Rugby in a candid interview.
“I don’t think my family would have let me continue had they known what we know now about concussions and the effect they can have.”
It’s generally accepted now that players, indeed anybody, becomes increasingly susceptible to further concussions the more they suffer.
“After you have had a concussion, you are definitely more susceptible to another,” Rory agrees.
“After mine in 2008, I got one in training with Toulon and I genuinely had no idea why I was in France.
“Then I re-joined Glasgow Warriors and was playing Edinburgh at Murrayfield when I was knocked out going for a high ball. That time I was confused as to why I was wearing a Glasgow shirt because I thought I played for Toulon and had no memory of moving to Scotland.
“On both occasions it took about 30 minutes for my memory to return. It was a clear sign some damage had taken place and was pretty scary. But nobody sat me down and said, look you’ve had multiple concussions now and could face issues in the future. It just didn’t happen.”
In the end it was a broken leg against France in the 2012 Six Nations that put paid to his career, but he never foresaw what unsettling traumas his retirement would bring.
While he didn’t suffer classic post-concussion symptoms like headaches or light sensitivity, Rory had noticed, often from playing X-Box with former teammates, that his decision making was impaired.
“After my retirement my physical and mental health deteriorated fast,” he said.
“I was severely depressed and had suicidal thoughts. It was a very dark place and I experienced an intense feeling of hopelessness and felt very isolated. I was incredibly fortunate that I was in a financial position to be able to focus entirely on getting myself better.
“There is a long life to live post-rugby and nothing matters more than your health. When I was in that dark place, I would have given all my money and all my caps to get my health back. You truly don’t realise the value of your health until you lose it.
“However, my story is one of hope. I think there are lots of players out there who are suffering with post-concussion symptoms who can get their lives back on track. I absolutely believe in the body’s ability to heal - it isn’t easy and it can be a very hard road but it’s one worth travelling.”
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In the months after retirement, Rory chose to speak out about his concerns regarding concussion management in the game, highlighting that a toxic mix of player bravado and desire to keep their place in the team, alongside a coach’s relentless will to win, can see players potentially put at risk.
“Players are short-sighted, they can’t see past the next game - They are terrified about losing their spot in the team which is not good for their career or contract negotiations,” Rory said.
“I have seen a medic in tears after an argument with a head coach over whether a player was ready to play again following a concussion.
“My heart has always been with the physios and medics because they are in an impossible situation with huge pressure on them. If they are seen to be putting an individual ahead of then team it’s not looked on well by the coach.
“The irony being that a player with brain trauma is less likely to perform at the weekend and make the right decisions on the pitch at the right time.”
Rory wonders whether players should have a helpline they can call anonymously to highlight concerns and genuinely believes it would be used. The thought was triggered by the new contact training guidelines introduced by World Rugby.
“Contact training was a big thing for players in my era. We were doing more contact in the week than we would ever get on a weekend which was crazy.”
“So, the guidelines are definitely a step in the right direction but if there are no repercussions for exceeding the guidelines there is not a lot of incentive for coaches to adhere to them.
“In my experience coaches have always resorted to upping the intensity when things are not going well – the boys just get punished more.
“So having a way players can speak out when coaches are taking liberties with your or your teammate’s health is something definitely worth looking at.”
But he feels until the game’s governing bodies actually accept the link between the game and possible early onset dementia, players will continue to choose to ignore the risks - an equally flawed self-preservation tactic of their own.
“I don’t know why, with the exception of boxing, it’s taken sport so long to acknowledge concussion is a problem. My opinion is a professional rugby player suffers far more head trauma than a boxer,” he said.
“Ultimately we need World Rugby to acknowledge that the game does carry risk that can cause issues with your brain so there is informed consent and accountability.
“Until then many players will continue to conceal issues around their fitness and choose to accept that version of the ‘truth’ because it’s less scary.”
So, while Rory is happy that change is happening. he think there’s still a long way to go.
“Players with brain injury are not good at making decisions so we need a culture of care. We need coaches to be compassionate and put player welfare above everything else.
“Quins have got it spot on and should be the template for everyone to follow, the inspiration for change. That’s what coaches need to see – that looking after your players brings tangible results.”
And the current return to play protocol, allowing players to return to the field the following weekend? That’s certainly not a situation he can get his head around.
“It’s absolutely bonkers. I just can’t believe that we are still in the position where an elite player can return to then pitch the week after a concussion. It genuinely blows my mind that it’s still allowed.”
“Players are short-sighted, they can’t see past the next game - They are terrified about losing their spot in the team which is not good for their career or contract negotiations.”